The Degrees of Normal
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: One thing Steve should have learned when it came to Darcy Lewis, never give her ideas because she won't ever let them go. After Pepper's baby-shower Darcy finds Steve in the kitchen trying to get drunk, who would have ever thought that the conversation that would come would lead to her pregnant with Captain America's baby? Not Darcy, and certainly not Steve.
1. Late Night Cake and Scotch

Degree 1: Late Night Cake and Scotch With Your Very Own Super Soldier

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><p>If there was one thing that Darcy loved more than life itself, it was party cake. It didn't matter what kind, birthday, wedding, graduation, anniversary; chocolate, white, yellow, lemon, or marble. All that mattered was the fact that it was party cake. There was something about celebratory cake that just made it taste better. This was why she was currently sneaking her way into the tower's communal kitchen at two in the morning, wearing nothing but her oversized Avengers PJs.<p>

Slipping into the kitchen, Darcy went straight for the fridge where she knew a huge piece of baby-shower cake waited with her name on it. So technically Tony had claimed it for his breakfast, but the dude had enough money to buy a million such cakes and Darcy was simply surviving on an assistant's wages…alright, not exactly normal assistant's wages, she was being paid by Tony Stark after all…still it was the principle of the thing…sort of…

"You realize that Tony will probably go through with his threat to fill the sock drawer of whoever stole his cake with snakes?" Steve smirk as Darcy actually jumped as she leaned into the fridge. It didn't really surprise him to see her, she had stolen the last of Clint's last birthday cake…along with his and Bucky's, and basically everyone except Nat's. Darcy was daring, but not stupid.

"Shit! Steve, don't scare a girl like that! I almost dropped my cake, my precious cake." Mimicking every bad movie villain ever, Darcy pulled the platter of cake in her hand to her chest and pretended to stroke it. She lamented the fact that it was Steve in the kitchen; not that she didn't like him, he was one of her best friends after all, it was just the blank stare he gave her at her antics. Had it been Clint he would have laughed.

"Tony's cake." Steve rolled his eyes at the woman in front of him. He had long ago gotten used to her strange humor. Admittedly he found it funny, but he wasn't really in the mood for jokes at the moment.

"My cake now, plus he will never find out. You don't plan on ratting me out, do you?" She knew he would never nark on her, but she loved the little back and forth they had. She couldn't deny that she would deliberately provoke him just to see him riled up. There was something about seeing him free of constraints, able to actually be who he was. She sometimes wondered why he thought he had to play the Captain so much, if it was the collapse of SHIELD, finding Bucky, or just dealing with people like Tony. No matter what it was, Darcy loved to pull away those layers of red, white, and blue and simply reveal Steve Rogers underneath.

"No, I don't think I could deal with those big puppy-dog eyes of yours. I was thinking more JARVIS than anyone." Darcy had used her famous puppy-dog eyes on him before, it was an experience he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. Ok, maybe he enjoyed watching Tony completely melt under those wet blues, but who didn't?

"Naw, JARV and I are bros, tight we are, like a pickle jar lid." Darcy flopped down into the chair beside Steve, digging her fork straight into the top of the cake and shoving a good sized hunk in her mouth. She wasn't the most lady-like woman out there as it was, but she never felt the need to put on airs around the Avengers. Maybe Pepper, but after seeing the rest of them eating left over pizza and watching tv in their underwear…yeah Darcy couldn't care less about crossing her legs or eating daintily.

"Sometimes I think you spend half your time just coming up with those sayings." Darcy was as outspoken and quick-witted as they came. He was pretty sure that was what had attracted him to her in the first place. Their friendship had been a quick one, the two of them growing close in a matter of weeks. Maybe it was her personality, maybe it was how she had accepted Bucky with no question and made him her friend just as she had done to him. Whatever it was, Steve couldn't imagine his life now without the quirky young woman.

"Genius takes time, Steve." Darcy twirled her cake filled fork at Steve, smirking at him before shoving the whole thing in her mouth.

"Well, Genius, how are you going to explain the huge frosting stain on your top at breakfast?" Reaching out, Steve flicked one finger against the large red spot on the front of her chest, coming away with a large hunk of overly sweet frosting. Not thinking about it, he stuck his finger in his mouth to clean it off. It was a testament to just how close they were that neither of them seemed phased by the action.

"Oh damn! Of course Tony would have to get a life-size Iron Man cake, I swear this thing used up all the red food coloring in New York." Taking a cue from Steve, Darcy started gathering up the frosting with her finger and shoving it in her mouth. Not that it actually helped, there was a huge red blotch between her breasts that she was pretty sure would never wash out. Damn, and those had been one of her favorite pajama sets.

"Did you expect anything different from him?" Never in his life had he seen someone with an ego as big as Tony. Oh, Howard came close and he was sure had his old friend had the ability to create the kind of tech his son did, he would have been just as arrogant as Tony. To be fair though, Tony's arrogance had calmed down quite a bit since he first met him. Though not enough to keep him from pulling stunts such as the cake.

"Yeah, but then again I figure Pepper probably stopped him from ordering a more vulgar cake." Ignoring the look of horror that crossed Steve's face at her statement, Darcy made a rather crude gesture with her hands before resuming her attack on the cake.

"I really didn't need to be thinking about that." Steve fought the blush he felt rising up his cheeks. He was by no means a prude, or all that shy, but Darcy had a way of making him blush without really trying.

"I can just see it, he would have had moving parts and all." She waggled her eyebrows as she made an even more vulgar gesture, this time utilizing the cake and her tongue.

"Darcy stop, just stop please." Steve took a long pull from the glass he had in his hand, his eyes on anything else in the room besides the smear of red across Darcy's lips.

"You're no fun anymore." Darcy pouted and just stuck the bite of molested cake into her mouth. She loved being the only one in the tower able to make Steve Rogers blush. She considered it to be one of her superpowers, along with getting scientists to eat and ex brainwashed assassins to laugh.

"No, I just don't want to think about pornographic cakes this early in the morning." Or the way that her tongue moved along the piece of cake. Darcy might have been his best friend next to Bucky, but he wasn't blind or dead.

"When else would you? Any other time of day would just be disturbing." Darcy waved her hand at Steve as though what she said explained everything perfectly.

"Speaking of, do you realize how disturbing it is to watch you eat Iron Man's head?" He had thought the cake was unnerving as it was, but watching the way Darcy devoured the thing that made it horrifying.

"Why does everyone keep freaking out about the way I eat cake? I thought Jane was going to have me locked up earlier." Not even caring about her top anymore, the thing was ruined beyond repair, Darcy carelessly dug into the cake. Stopping only to reach over to take a large gulp from Steve's glass, which caused her to promptly cough.

"That is because you cut out the ARC Reactor and ate it while cackling on about eating Tony's heart. You scared the shit out of Bucky, do you know how hard that is to do?" Bucky's eyes had gone huge, and Steve was pretty sure he had seen him take a step backwards. Of course he had also seen the admiration in his eyes as well, Bucky always liked people that were just a little bit out there. That was how the two of them had become friends after all.

"I was just playing. Anyway, we've established why I'm up at this ungodly hour, why are you?" Of course Darcy had a pretty good idea, mostly after taking a drink from his glass. Still, she didn't want to jump to conclusions. Doing that had gotten her into trouble too many times in her life.

Steve lifted up the almost empty glass in his hand, motioning towards the counter where four empty bottles of scotch sat. He grabbed the one on the table beside him and poured the last bit of it into his glass.

"Trying to get drunk." The statement was pretty much deadpanned. It was a sort of joke, he figured. Steve Rogers trying to get drunk? Hilarious. At least that was how he felt before he finished the fourth bottle and still could see straight.

"Oh, yes because that is much better than stealing cake from the world's most egotistical man." Darcy rolled her eyes and pushed herself back from the table. After so much cake and frosting she needed something to drink and she would be damned if she had a sip from that scotch again. On its own it is all well and fine, but with white cake…vomit inducing.

"At least it won't lead to snakes in my drawers." Steve saluted her with a raise of his glass then downed the last bit in one go. He had long ago stopped feeling the burn of the stuff, now it just slid down his throat like warm melted butter.

"Really, Tony is just going to smile and laugh when he sees that you've plowed through several bottles of his best scotch? Somehow, I think, he's not going to care about my cake-theft." Darcy knew Tony kept a large stash of the most ridiculously expensive alcohol in the tower, sadly she had yet to find it. She wondered if she could convince Steve to pinch her a bottle of that port that she kept hearing about.

"The scotch is mine, Tony gave me an entire flat of the stuff for my last birthday." Steve didn't even want to think about how much that must have cost. Though he was sure it was mere pennies to the man. Still, Steve felt a bit strange knowing that someone spent thousands on just one present for him.

"Lucky bastard, all I ever got from him was a new taser." Darcy pretended to stab her fork into the top of the cake. She was contemplating making "Ee, Ee, Ee" noises when Steve reached over and grabbed her hand. She stuck her tongue out and had to hold back her giggle when he rolled his eyes.

"Don't whine, it was a SI prototype taser that is about as close as anyone on Earth will ever get to Thor's hammer." Just about everyone had groaned in horror when Tony had presented the new taser to Darcy. Everyone but Thor who couldn't wait to test out the new lighting weapon with his Shield-Sister. That had been an interesting training session.

"It is a beauty, isn't it? Anyway, we've gone way off subject. Steve, why are you trying to get drunk?" Darcy eyed the several other bottles lined up on one of the counters. She knew Steve still had bad days, but since Bucky had returned; both physically and mentally; he had been doing pretty well. It bothered her that something could have thrown him off so much that he would actually attempt to get drunk.

"Felt like it." He shrugged his shoulders. Though he adored Darcy and was enjoying her company, he was beginning to wish she hadn't shown up. He had talked to her about many things he had never talked about with anyone else, but this was something he wasn't really all that ready to discuss. Mostly as he was a bit confused by it himself.

"No, you never just feel like getting drunk, you are not Tony. You have to have a reason, so what is it?" Darcy set her fork down and clasped one of Steve's hands in hers. She might not have been a vintage super-soldier, but she was a good listener and always had time for him.

"It's nothing, Darcy." He turned his hand in hers around and gave a quick squeeze before extracting his hand. He should probably just get up and leave, but he knew Darcy better than anyone and he knew she would either just follow him to his room or just pick up the conversation later.

"Obviously it isn't, or you would be in bed right now, or at the very least, down in the gym." She couldn't count how many times JARVIS had woken her up to inform her that Steve was down in the gym again and beating the crap out of the punching bags. Normally those instances involved nightmares or flashbacks of the war of the life he had lost, but not one of them sent him to the liquor cabinet.

"Let it go, Darce." Steve pushed his chair back to stand, only to have Darcy throw her leg out underneath the table and catch the back of the chair leg with her foot. He sighed and scooted the chair forward.

"No. Look, when Ian and I ended things and I tried to drown my sorrows in alcoholic ice-cream floats, you made me talk it out. I'm just returning the favor. Now, once again, why are you trying to get drunk?" Darcy gave him _The Look._ It was the look that said he better answer or she would bring out the big guns. The big guns being both Sam and Nat. If one couldn't talk it out of him, the other could beat it out. Thankfully she never had to use Nat, but Sam had come in handy on several occasions.

"It is just today, or yesterday rather." Steve refused to meet Darcy's eyes, his focus remaining solely on his glass. He ran one finger along the rim, circling around and around until he felt a slight heat from the friction warm the tip.

"I know that Tony was a bit annoying, but really that is no reason to get drunk. Well, not that drunk at least, I find it easier to work with him when buzzed." She really wished she was kidding, but sadly she was not. Tony was a handful on the best of days, but he could become downright unbearable sometimes. She had learned early on that it was better to down a shot or two before dealing with him on his bad days. It wasn't the best idea she had ever had, but it was better than her killing Tony.

"It wasn't Tony, it was…Darce, have you ever thought about kids, you know, having them?" The fact that those words came out of his mouth shocked him, and by the look he could see Darcy giving him out of the corner of his eye, so was she.

"Oh, you're broody? Huh." Well, who would have thought it? It probably shouldn't have shocked her, Steve was human after all. Maybe she wouldn't have been so surprised had he ever talked about kids before. The most she had ever heard from him was about his young fans that sent him art and letters; all of which he framed and used to cover one entire wall in his rooms. Alright, so that should have been a huge clue right there.

"Darce?" Finally getting up the courage, Steve turned to the woman next to him. They were friends, very good friends, and he knew she would never actually make fun of him, but it didn't make it easier to talk about this with her.

"Oh, sorry. Well, I mean, not really. Before, the idea of kids was just something I could leave or take, but now…I see what you mean. Everything with Pepper lately, her growing belly, the glow about her, and the way that her and Tony just light up when they talk about their child.

"Now, yeah I think I might want them now." It wasn't something she had given real serious thought about. She had figured she would have them one day, but the idea had never taken full root in her mind. She hadn't sat down and thought about what her children would look like, what names she might want to give them, or how many she would one day want. It hadn't dawned on her until Steve brought it up just how much that had changed since Pepper had announced her pregnancy. It was a little shocking.

"I had thought about becoming a father before, but it always seemed like a pipe-dream. It's looking more and more that I was right." He knew he sounded bitter, but he had already lost so much when he had downed that plane. Maybe he should be grateful, he had survived after all. He was alive and well, part of a team, saving the world and all of that. He should be happy, instead he found himself several times dwelling on what he had sacrificed to get where he was.

"What are you talking about? Girls are practically lining up outside the tower to date you." And she really wasn't exaggerating. Steve didn't just have fans under the age of ten vying for his attention, he had a whole slew of women from eighteen to sixty hoping to catch his eye. Wherever he went he had to deal with packs of them flaunting and flirting. It would've been funny, but for some reason it annoyed her more often than not.

"To date Captain America, not me. The thing is, they have this idea in their heads about being Cap's girlfriend, but not one of them really understands what that means." He hadn't minded it at first, mostly when he hadn't been looking for anything more than a night or two. On those occasions he hadn't been bothered when the woman yelled out Captain instead of Steve. That had changed though after the first time one of his one-nighters had turned into something more.

"You mean the danger?" It seemed silly to her that anyone would not count that in when dating a superhero, but then again she knew that some people could be far beyond stupid.

"That, and the fact that sometimes I have to cancel on them. They don't care that it is my job. The first time it happens they smile and give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me that it is alright and they are proud of me. The second time they just grin and tell me they understand, by the third they become annoyed, and the forth they are angry. I've never gotten to a fifth.

"It isn't even like it is my choice, I'm Captain America, I can't just ignore a crisis to go on a date." It wasn't even like he enjoyed canceling. He would've much rather spent his time with a pretty girl instead of fighting crazed robots or murderous aliens.

"Well, I can understand being upset, but they should've known from the beginning something like that could, and would, happen." She had been right, people were far beyond stupid.

"What about you, now that you know you want children, do you think it will happen?" Steve really didn't have any doubt that she would become a mother one day. Darcy was beautiful, sweet, witty, and intelligent. He knew one day some guy would realize just how wonderful she was, marry and give her children. Of course, Steve never liked to think about that.

"You've seen my last few attempts at dating, what do you think? Ian was probably the most stable relationship I've ever had, and that I went and screwed up." She had never had the best track record when it came to relationships. It wasn't so much that she picked the duds, or bad boys, though she had her fair share of those lately. It was just that she always seemed to pick men that she didn't spark with. Sure, the sex had always been great, but outside of the bedroom there was not enough there.

"You didn't screw anything up." He always hated when she put herself down, or blamed everything that went wrong in her life on herself. He was used to playing the hero, but how could he defend her from herself?

"Yeah, that is not what Ian said." Ian had been…well he had been a mistake. She had mistaken gratefulness for attraction after he had saved her and had jumped right into a relationship with him. It hadn't been all bad, generally he had been the type to follow her around and she enjoyed being the one in control. The problem came when things started becoming serious and her personal and work life crashed head long into each other.

"That was only because he was upset. Darcy, he had asked you quit your job and to move back to London permanently and then refused to continue the relationship after you said no. The breakup was a lot more his fault than yours." Steve had never really liked Ian. He hadn't been a bad guy, and Steve knew he had genuinely adored her. He had followed her to New York, though he had a pretty good guess that the move had a lot more to do with continuing to work with Jane than anything else.

Ian had lived in the tower with Darcy, made friends with the team, but in the end decided he couldn't handle it. His leaving and the ultimatum he had given her had been the catalyst to Steve and Darcy's friendship. So in a way, he guessed he should be grateful for him.

"Yeah, but if I had just…" No, she hadn't loved Ian, she had liked him at best. The thing was she had wanted to prove to herself that she could have a stable and adult relationship. It hadn't mattered that they had lasted almost two years, in her eyes the end of their relationship meant she had been a failure.

"No, Darce, just no. He was asking you to give up everything so he wouldn't have to, then he ended the relationship instead of making a compromise.

"Say you had moved there and the relationship still crashed? Where would that leave you?" It had rubbed him the wrong way when he had heard what Ian had told her. He knew that there had to be compromise in a relationship, but he didn't think asking someone to give up everything for you could really be considered one.

"You truly are a sweetheart. Still, my fault or not, I doubt I'll find anyone soon. Anymore I seem to attract mostly douches, or weaklings that piss their pants at the sight of you guys." Darcy picked at the cake in front of her again, trying not to laugh at the memory of poor Harry literally shaking in his boots at the sight of the Avengers. It hadn't even been like they had been looming over him, they had been lounging around the common room having an Austen Powers marathon.

"Yeah, that guy was a little…um…" Steve tried to think of a word that was polite, but all he could do was give a low laugh.

"Pathetic? Yeah, I won't be allowing any of the office girls to set me up again." She had known it was a bad idea when Jennie had approached her with the offer, but Darcy had been going through a dry spell and had hoped that even if the date didn't turn into something more she could at least get some relief for the night. Obviously things hadn't gone anywhere near well, and she had had to rely on Old Reliable for relief.

Steve shook his head at the memory of that night. The poor kid had hightailed it out of the tower like the hounds of hell were on his tail while everyone just stood there blinking. He sighed after a moment, pushing his glass away as he looked over at a smiling Darcy.

She really was beautiful. He had thought that since the first moment he had seen her across the common room. She had been bundled up in several sweaters with her head almost completely hidden behind one of her knitted monstrosities. He had known that Thor's girl had moved in that morning and that she was coming with an assistant, but he hadn't expected anything like Darcy. She had been a mix of cute and sexy, sweet and sassy, and mouthy. He would admit that he had been a little disappointed when Ian had saddled up beside her and took her hand. Since that moment he had accepted that it would be friendship only.

He laughed again, softly this time and maybe a little bit miserably. He had often wondered what would have happened if Ian had not been in the picture. Darcy had become his best friend beside Bucky. There was an easiness between the two of them, it was comfortable and uncomplicated, and because of that he came to a realization that caused him to open his mouth before really thinking about it.

"You know, it's too bad that we couldn't just have a kid together." Steve blinked a few times at just what had come out of his mouth. What was it about Darcy that caused him to lose all sense of himself? He was always blurting things out around her.

"Okay." That had been unexpected, but more so was how quickly she responded. Had she been told yesterday that she would agree to having Steve's kid…ok, well maybe the answer would have been the same. It was strange how right it had sounded when Steve had said that.

"Excuse me, what?!" He was glad that he hadn't been even holding onto his glass, he was sure he would have shattered it completely. He might not have meant to say what he had, but he really hadn't counted on Darcy's reaction. He had hoped to play it off as a joke, to have Darcy laugh at him and then go back to her cake. This was probably the most unexpected thing that had happened all night.

"I said ok. Why not? We are friends, good friends actually. We care about and adore each other, and you have to admit we would make beautiful babies." Images of little blond-haired, blue-eyed babies rushed through her head and Darcy knew she was done for. Suddenly she understood all those women who daydreamed about their future families and collected baby names.

"I was just kidding." If his voice came out a bit squeaky no one would blame him. He should really start learning to watch what he said around Darcy, he really should. Darcy was one of those people that once they got ahold of an idea they held onto it like a dog with a bone. Normally though her ideas dealt with some prank or Avengers bonding activity, not him getting her pregnant.

"I know, but I'm not. Just think about it, we would make pretty bitchin' parents." She would be one of those cool moms, the ones that all the kids wanted for their own. And she knew that Steve would be one of the world's best dads. He would be protective, but he would also be very attentive, the kind of father that made sure he went to all his kid's games. She could just see it, Steve rushing to catch their child's game after saving the world once again, saddling up next to her on the benches all scuffed up in his uniform. It was an image that made her ovaries explode just a little bit.

"What I think is that you've had way too much sugar and it has gone straight to your head." He wondered if maybe Tony had tampered with his scotch just a little bit and that Darcy was actually a bit drunk. Surely she wouldn't agree to something like that sober?

"Steve…" Darcy sighed. Of course Steve would be difficult, even if he was the one to originally bring the topic up. Alright, alright, so he hadn't actually meant for her to take it seriously, she couldn't help it that idea appealed to her.

"No Darcy, I was just kidding, nothing more. Now, you should go to bed, you will realize how ridiculous this all is in the morning." And maybe he would be able to forget about it himself. He really didn't need thoughts of her pregnant with his child to complicate things between them.

"It's already morning." A smirk spread across Darcy's face as a frown pulled down Steve's.

"Darcy." Surprisingly, he never really had to use his Captain voice on her, but he figured the current situation called for it. Even if he did hate using it for the simple fact of the dejected look Darcy gave him every time he used it.

"Damn, fine, fine, I'm going, but I promise you I'll still think this is a good idea when I wake up." Darcy stuck her tongue out at Steve as she stood and placed the cake back inside the fridge. She gave the cake one last longing look before shutting the door.

"Just go to bed, doll." His voice sounded tired even to him. He figured it was a mix of the party the day before and the disaster of a conversation he had just had with Darcy.

"Night, Steve." Leaning down over Steve, Darcy placed a soft kiss against his cheek. She laughed quietly as he wrapped an arm around her waist to give a gentle squeeze and ended up coming face to face with her chest. His eyes about bugged out of his head before he shook his head and leaned up to plant a kiss on her own cheek.

"Night." Steve watched as Darcy sauntered out of the room, and there really was no other word for the slow, swaying little bounce she had. He picked up his glass and placed it to his lips before he realized that he had already finished off his fifth bottle.

He sighed and looked over where he had a few more lined up and ready. He doubted even drinking those would work, even if he really needed them too. Sometimes he really cursed that serum.

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><p>When the others started to trickle into the kitchen around nine, they were greeted by a scruffy Steve Rogers bent over a cup of cold coffee. After Darcy left for bed, Steve had all intentions of returning to his own room to try and sleep himself. Though he never made it, instead switching out his scotch for coffee and remaining at the kitchen table. He might have been tired, but he knew he would never be able to sleep.<p>

"You're up God-awful early, Cap. Or is it late?" Tony patted Steve's shoulder as he passed him on his way to the counter. This wasn't really the first time that the Cap had stayed up all night. After he had moved into the tower it had been a regular thing, though after Bucky's return and the arrival of Darcy the only time Tony saw him up late was after a mission.

"Couldn't sleep." Steve shrugged his shoulders before taking a rather large drink of his coffee. He grimaced as he tried to force the cold sludge down his throat. He hadn't realized how long he had been sitting there just staring at his cup, but apparently it had been long enough to make his coffee unpalatable.

"Yeah, because coffee helps with that." Tony rolled his eyes as he set to work on brewing a pot of real coffee. He never could understand how everyone else in the tower could drink the Cowboy Special that always ended up in his expensive machines. That stuff was more like drinking gritty tar than anything resembling coffee.

"Doesn't really matter what I drink, remember?" Steve was still as sore as he had been earlier about that. With the way his mind was churning over his conversation with Darcy he could really use something, be it alcohol or a caffeine buzz.

"Yeah, that sucks. So, I'm guessing the scotch didn't work?" He had made it his mission to find something to either get Steve drunk or high, he wasn't really that picky. Steve had been on board with the alcohol, but Tony had to be a little sneakier when it came the other. Of course, not that anything seemed to work. It was really annoying actually.

"No different than water." Steve absently waved his hand at the line of empty bottles on the counter and went back to trying to down his cold coffee.

"Damn." He would have to see about enlisting Bruce to help him come up with something able to overcome Cap's metabolism. He would be damned if he would just give up, there was something out there capable of getting Steve drunk and by God he was going to be the one to find it.

"You realize that not everyone wants to be drunk all the time?" Jane shook her head as she entered the kitchen. She ran her hand through her hair only to get caught half way down. After the party the day before she had gone straight back to her lab, and since Darcy hadn't been around to put her to bed, she had remained there until two hours ago when she stumbled back to her room and into bed. She had almost tossed her alarm clock across the room when it had gone off and gone back to bed, but sadly Thor was an early riser and had practically pulled her off the mattress and out of their room.

"Keep telling yourself that Janey-girl." Tony pointed his empty coffee cup at the small woman, a wide smirk on his face. The woman looked like shit, her hair a giant knot and her clothes rumpled. And if the large purple bruises under her eyes were anything to go by, Science had been her mistress last night.

"Shut up, Stark." Jane wasn't anywhere near in the mood to deal with a cheery Tony Stark. Unfortunately, since Pepper had announced her pregnancy he had been nothing but cheery. It made her want to stick a long hot poker in his eye most days.

"Make me." Tony stuck his tongue out before pouring a cup of coffee and taking a large burning drink of it. Bliss.

"My God! You two are like children!" Bucky rounded the corner into the kitchen, his eyes immediately scanning the room. He might have been better…or at least not trying to kill everyone that made a wrong or unexpected move…but he was still a soldier. He had spent most of his life having to look over his shoulder, and now was no different.

Taking in the room he just shook his head. Darcy would have Jane's head when she realized that the scientist had been working late again, Tony was as irritating as ever, and Steve…Steve he would have to talk to later. Even back in the day before the train and the ice, Steve hardly ever tried to drown himself in alcohol.

"You think this is bad you should see them when they are in the lab. Darcy has threatened to put them in diapers on several occasions. She's even bought them personalized binkies." Bruce carefully pushed past Bucky, being mindful not to touch him. Though they all were volatile, the Soldier and the Hulk were the worst and the easiest to trigger. On more than one occasion they each had set the other off, and caused Tony a lot of money in repairs.

"Speaking of our little Avenger Mommy, where is she?" Tony had expected to see her bright and early that morning. The woman had a bad habit of stealing his cake, and as of yet he had been unable to catch her.

"Still in bed. I knocked on her door on the way down, so as long as she heard me she should be up soon." It was a bit odd, Jane knew what most people thought about Darcy. They figured she was lazy and didn't give a damn about rules, but in fact she was probably the most rule abiding and hardworking one in the tower. Darcy liked to sleep in, and play around in the labs, but she always got things done. That was why even though the younger woman's major was wrong for the internship, she had kept her on all these years.

"Good, should give me enough time to….damnit!" Tony pouted as he pulled out the head of the Iron Man cake, the whole top half eaten away. He set the plate on the counter and crossed his arms, making him look even more like a child.

Darcy rounded the corner, rubbing her eyes as she tramped into the kitchen in the oversized Iron Man PJs she had changed into before bed. All of it made her look like a five year old just waking up. Even more so with the look that crossed her face as Tony pointed a finger at her, causing her to stop in her tracks.

"You!" He had known it! That little sneak. He glared over towards Cap, his eyes narrowing. He had been there all night, which meant he had allowed the girl to eat his cake. He would pay for that betrayal, he didn't care how hot Darcy was or how big her breasts.

"Me!" The childlike expression slid from her face as she flung her eyes open wide and she pointed towards herself. She needed caffeine, but damn, if messing with Tony in the morning didn't give her just a little buzz.

"No, you ate my cake, I told you not to eat my cake." Tony crossed his arms over his chest and tried to effect a look of authority. Apparently it wasn't working and Tony deflated just a little. If he couldn't intimidate a lab assistant how was he suppose to a child? Suddenly he was having horrible visions of his kid laughing at him alongside Darcy.

"What makes you think it was me?" Darcy pressed her hand to her chest, a small smile trying its hardest to turn up the corner of her mouth.

"You only wear Iron Man merch when you are trying to get something from me." This was something he had realized on early on. First it had been to get her mitts on his coffee, and then the use of a SI car, and all the way up to getting her own set of rooms. Pepper said he gave in because he was a huge softy who adored Darcy, but Tony thought it was just because the woman was evil and he really didn't feel like having his heart eaten and his soul sucked out if he refused.

Darcy shrugged her shoulders, not even denying it, since, well, it was true. She ignored everyone else in the room, mostly Steve as she knew if she looked at him she would want to bring up their last conversation, and that was something best left for later. Keeping her eyes on the coffee machine, Darcy saddled up beside Tony and poured herself a cup despite the man's strangled garbles and groans about his cake.

After a few moments and a few sips, Darcy set down her cup, reached her arms out to Tony and growled, "Brains, bbbrrraaaiiinnnsss!" causing the older man to take a couple of steps back from her.

Bucky spit out his coffee; practically choking as he stared wide-eyed at Darcy. Even though they had become friends, meaning he had spent a great deal of time with her, she still had the habit of surprising him.

"Shit Doll, you are one scary bitch, do you realize that?" Bucky wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, a deep rumble of a laugh making its way up his chest.

"That has been my whole life's mission; to be the scariest damn bitch to ever bitch." Darcy struck a pose, the classic Bitch Pose that all teenage girls learn in high-school. She had always had strong pose game, what with her hips and chest, they gave just that little bit extra _oomph_ that made the pose.

"Sorry to break it to you Babe, but I think that award goes to Nat." Tony had inched back forward, his hand sliding over the counter to grab the plate with his cake.

"Scared, Tony?" Bitch Pose still in place, Darcy turned her attention back towards Tony, her eyebrow raising as she noticed his fingers curling around the plate.

"You damn well better believe it." Taking his chance, Tony slipped the plate closer to him. Though as he was standing only three feet from Darcy, it was sadly still in her reach.

Darcy laughed along with everyone else and reached over to pick at the cake, only to have Tony slap her hand. She pouted at him and curled her cup of coffee to her chest. When she saw Steve move out of the corner of her eye she knew she could no longer ignore his presence. The two of them had become such good friends that eventually someone would pick up on the unusual tension between them.

Taking a large sip of her coffee she turned to look at him, and blinked as she noticed the pink color creeping up his cheeks. It was funny, this was one of the few times she hadn't been trying to cause his cheeks to color. She gave him a smile behind her cup, and sure enough that pink grew darker. It didn't take a genius to figure out just what he was thinking.

"Anyway, I've actually got running to do today, so I'll see ya creeps later." She didn't, well not work important running to do at least. It had more to do with the conversation she had with Steve…alright it had everything to do with their conversation, but she wasn't about to tell any of them that.

"You didn't say anything yesterday, I needed your help…" Jane pouted, hoping that the puppy-dog eyes would work on her assistant. She really should have known better.

"Nope, Boss Lady, not happening. It's Sunday, that means it's Darcyday and this girl is going shopping. Remember the rule?" Pointing her finger at Jane, Darcy gave the woman a scolding look. She couldn't count the amount of times she had to remind Jane that she was actually a human being and not a robot, and therefore she was entitled to days off.

"No Science on Sunday." If it was possible, Jane's pout grew. She really hated it when Darcy didn't work in the lab, her lab. She had another assistant, Jake, but the kid was utterly useless. He couldn't even figure out Darcy's filing system!

"No Science on Sundays, very good. Now, I'm headed out I've got places to see and people to do." Darcy placed her cup in the sink, sending a wink towards Tony as she reached over and actually plucked a huge bit of the cake in her hands before stuffing it in her mouth. Tony glowered at her, but she knew he was more amused than anything.

As she left the kitchen she couldn't help but run her fingers along Steve's back, her hand out of sight, though from the raised brow that Bucky sent her, not from everyone.

She had thought long and hard after returning to her room and she had made a decision, the only problem was Steve. She knew he would never agree, not right away at least, but she had a plan. Before long Steve would be her baby daddy, she was sure of it.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: So, this is what I've been plotting all summer long. I got tired of waiting to finish the full chapter by chapter outline, so I decided to go ahead and start posting. I'm not sure how long this will be, though I do know it should be a pretty good length. Right now I have it plotted out to chapter twelve.<p>

Now, I can't promise this will be updated regularly, as I am in school now, but I will update when I can.

Now, this story takes place around four years after TWS. It will be compliant up to the first season finale of Agents, though I might add a bit of stuff from this season if it works with this storyline.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	2. Operation Baby-Daddy A Go

Degree two: Operation Baby-Daddy A Go

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><p>Darcy lifted the bags in her hands until she could easily toss the heavy things onto her unmade bed. She ignored it when one particularly heavy bag toppled over, bits of clothing spilling to the floor in a cascade of red, white, and blue.<p>

When she had returned to her room the night before she had had no intention of going to sleep like Steve had suggested, her mind had been too preoccupied with their conversation. Though Steve had become a good friend, a friendship she thought could possibly rival the one she had with Jane, he still hadn't learned one very important thing about her. The fact was when Darcy got an idea into her head she refused to let it go…like ever. She was notorious back home for her stubbornness. She figured it was what kept her at Jane's side all those years when any sane person would have left long ago.

When Steve had made that comment about having a kid together something had just clicked within her. She had spent all night thinking over what it would be like to be a mother; to carry a child inside her and to raise it. But even more, what it would be like to have Steve's child. She knew he would be a wonderful father, their kid would never lack for affection. The more and more she thought on a little blonde-curly-haired, blue-eyed baby, the more she wanted it.

She knew getting it wouldn't be easy, the biggest obstacle in obtaining what she wanted would be Steve. The man had more problems than her college algebra book, and just as hard to comprehend at times. Still, she had seen something in his eyes when he had made that comment. She couldn't blame it on the alcohol, so that left only one thing: Steve Rogers had at least been thinking of having a baby. Or at least that was what she was currently telling herself, better to justify what she was doing.

Maybe it was crazy, and ok, probably not really a good idea, but Darcy was the kind of girl that reached out and took what she wanted. This was why she had come up with a plan, one that would expose his desire for a child and show her own to him. Her little shopping trip that morning had all been in preparation for phase one of Project Baby-Daddy.

Darcy smiled as she gathered the fallen clothing, her fingers lingering on one particular blue garment. After carefully folding the onesie and placing it in her drawer, she reached to gather the rest so she could have everything ready come dinnertime.

* * *

><p>Dinner in Avengers Tower was probably the most formal meal of the day, but it also could be called the most chaotic. Tony had specially designed a table large and strong enough to hold all the Avengers and their significant others. There had been many failed attempts before the ten-foot long monstrosity had been built. Either the table couldn't hold up to the amount of food needed to feed a gaggle of superheroes, or it cracked under pressure from one too many food fights, or Thor simply forgot how strong he was and emphasized a point just a little too strongly. Darcy had even been witness to the Great Hulk-Out of the twenty-first century, otherwise known as Tony once again not knowing when to keep his mouth shut, that had leveled the entire table filled with food.<p>

Darcy was curled up in her normal seat, an overly large plush chair located just right of the head of the table; Steve's seat. They had all joked about Steve and Tony's placements, the parents of their little rag-tag group, but Darcy was observant enough to understand just how correct they all were. Without either of them she doubted the Avengers would have survived. Not that she would ever call Tony Mommy or Daddy…Steve on the other hand.

Laughter rose up around the table, everyone enjoying a care and worry free moment; something that was rather rare among the residents of the tower. Every week it seemed as though there was a new supervillain just waiting to get their ass kicked. It would have been funny had it not caused an almost constant haze of stress over everyone.

Darcy toed the bag she had set at her feet earlier, her sock covered foot running carefully along the bright red tissue paper sticking out of the top. She doubted it would be long before someone brought up her morning, allowing her to casually pull out the bag without raising suspicion. Well, too much suspicion, Steve was far from an idiot.

"You know, I still haven't forgiven you for eating my cake." Tony pouted into his forkful of green-rice pilaf. He gave the light green substance a moment's thought before stuffing the bite into his mouth. It might not look pretty, but it damn well tasted divine. It was annoying actually, as Darcy had been the one to introduce him to that particular version of the dish.

"Stop whining, you sound like a baby." Darcy rolled her eyes, it figured that it would be Tony that brought everything up.

"But it was my cake, you all heard me last night say that it was mine!" Tony pointed his now empty fork at each and every one at the table. He distinctly remembered telling everyone at least five times the night before that the last piece was his.

"If you let it drop I will order five life-sized Iron Man cakes with light up ARC reactors for your birthday." Pepper reached next to her and placed her hand on Tony's. When she had been younger her mother used to tell her how it didn't matter if she ever had kids or not, because men were nothing more than big babies and you automatically became a mother when you started dating one. Thinking back on that she wished she would have listened more.

"Fine, but Darcy isn't allowed to have any." Tony stuck a mouthful of rice in his mouth as though that finalized his answer.

Darcy placed her arms around her middle and pouted all the while fluttering her eyes. It was a tactic she had used with great success on not just Tony, but Steve, Bucky, and even Jane. Alright, so it worked on pretty much everyone but Nat and Pepper, which was why it was her go-to when things weren't going her way. She ignored the mix of groaning and snorting that rose from around the table, focusing all her energy instead on a quickly wavering Tony.

"Goddamnit! Fine, but the last piece is mine. I mean it!" The fork in Tony's hand fell onto his plate with a loud clang as he crossed his arms over his chest. Darcy was evil, pure evil, and it annoyed him that he could never resist her.

"Thankies!" A bright, smug smile spread across her face. She still would eat the last piece, and she knew that somewhere deep down Tony knew it too. Still, she would allow him to have his delusions if they made him feel better.

"It is unfair that you can pout your way into or out of anything. One day you are going to find yourself in a situation where pouting and tears won't work." Everyone around the tower may give into the girl, but Tony knew that the type of creeps they normally dealt with would never be swayed by her little girl act. They fed off those sort of reactions, and it scared Tony to think of them getting their hands on not just Darcy, but any of his friends.

"And that would be the day the world ends." Pouting had been one of the first things Darcy had learned when she had been a child. Well, pouting and crying on cue. She had learned early on that such things made guys uncomfortable. Men could deal with war and death, but put a crying girl or woman in front of them and suddenly they became nervous little boys.

Darcy went back to her dinner, not caring how she looked as she shoveled the green rice into her mouth. The conversation with Tony had not been the opening she had needed, which was a little annoying, but at least she had gotten back into his good graces. Somewhat at least.

"So, Darcy, you left pretty quickly this morning, what did you end up doing?" Bucky side-eyed the woman next to him, the fingers of his metal arm tapping out a jerky rhythm. He had watched her that morning with a little more care than he normally did. Maybe it had been the obvious effort to keep her errands a secret, or maybe the way Steve had acted the moment Darcy had entered the room. Whatever it had been, Bucky had been on alert all day, carefully watching his two best friends move around each other in an awkward dance.

"Just some shopping. Oh, that reminds me, when I was out I found a couple of things for you, Pepper. Or, well, for the baby." Darcy ignored the suspicious way Bucky spoke and was looking at her, simply grateful that he had created an opening for her.

Reaching down under the table she grabbed the thin, paper-rope handle of the bag. She probably should have taken a bit more care and actually wrapped the items in a box with wrapping-paper, but her gifts the day before had been and she had just been too tired; read that lazy; to do it again that afternoon. She handed the bag off to Bucky, and with a wave directed him to pass it down the table.

"I know I already got the baby a present yesterday, but these were too cute to pass up. Plus I thought everyone would get a kick out of them." Not really a lie, had she seen them in passing instead of deliberately looking for them she would have bought them all the same.

"Thank you, Darcy." Pepper smiled at the younger woman. She hadn't had too much time to really bond with Darcy, mostly since she had become pregnant, but she liked the woman and got on with her well.

Taking the bag from Nat before Tony could grab it, Pepper set it in her lap. Darcy could see the smirk on Bucky's face as Pepper started to pull Avenger themed baby items out for everyone to see. She ignored him and the nervous clench of her stomach and tried to watch Steve out of the corner of her eye instead.

There was a soft smile on his face as everyone cooed over the Mjolnir shaped baby rattle, Iron Man onesie, and Hulk plushie. It was a smile that flickered when Pepper pulled out the last item, a bonnet made to look like the Cap's cowl. She wasn't sure what to make of the look that came over his face then, it was almost wistful and sad. It made the clench in her stomach all the more painful, mostly as she remembered some of the conversation the night before.

"That was all they had left, guess Avenger themed baby items are kind of hot right now. I figured I would shop around online to see if I could find anything for the rest of you. And well, if I can't I can always just make something." It actually annoyed Darcy that there were so few items available for the rest of the Avengers. In her estimation stores should be filled to the brim with Hawkeye themed NERF bows, Black Widow backpacks, Falcon toy launchers, and Winter Soldier jackets. She knew it was something that they all needed to see, mostly Bucky. For so long he had thought himself a monster, and she knew even now he slipped easily back into that way of thinking.

"Thank you, Darcy. They really are cute." Pepper carefully placed each item back in the bag, making sure not to even tear a single bit of tissue paper. When she had started things with Tony she had never imagined that she would end up part of the strange family that was the Avengers. Still, there she was having Iron Man's baby and had a whole slew of superheroes and super-scientists ready to babysit. It was a little surreal, but she wouldn't ever change it.

"Alright, you can have two pieces of cake." Tony reached over to grab the onesie only to have Pepper slap his hand. He frowned at her, but pulled his hand back to take another mouthful of his dinner.

"So I'm forgiven?" Darcy pushed her mouth back out into a pout and gave an over exaggerated fluttering of her lashes. The whole thing was really for show since she knew Tony had pretty much forgiven her immediately.

"For now." Tony waved a hand at the young woman, but gave her a crooked little smile. He knew she would inevitably do something that he could give her shit about. Hell, sometimes he wondered if she just didn't do it all on purpose.

Darcy winked at Tony, sitting fully back in her chair with a smug smirk. Her eyes fell briefly on Steve and the tightness in his shoulders that she hadn't seen in a long time. For a moment she felt regret at what she had done, but in the end she pushed it away and replaced it with an image of a little blonde-headed baby. He would understand…eventually.

* * *

><p>Dinner and dish duty was something that was split up among the residents of the tower. It had all started out on a voluntary basis, but after Darcy and Pepper had ended up having to cook and clean several days in a row a schedule had been drawn up. The pairings had been created to prevent, or at least minimalize, damage to the kitchen. Not that it worked, mostly in the case of Bucky and Darcy.<p>

It was their turn for clean-up duty, which usually meant a mini food-fight between their trading of snarky barbs. Though it was strangely quiet that night as Darcy scraped the leftovers into the garbage disposal while Bucky loaded the washer. The silence and looks she was getting from the ex-assassin left her unnerved.

"What are you playing at?" Bucky rinsed off the plate in his hand before placing it in the rack next to several others. Though he wasn't looking at her directly, he could see the way she stiffened out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" Darcy heard the squeak in her voice and cringed. It was hardly subtle so she had little doubt as to whether he had heard it or not.

"Don't play dumb, Doll." He shook his head. Both he and Steve had refused to allow anyone else to train Darcy, as had been suggested on more than one occasion by Clint and Tony. They had taught her themselves the basics of self-defense, and would teach her anything else needed in the future. It seemed as though he would have to add lying convincingly to that list.

"I'm not playing dumb, I really have no idea what you're talking about." She wasn't the best liar in the world, but she wasn't the worst…at least she wasn't when she was lying to anyone but Bucky. She swore the man had a built in lie detector. Which really made keeping Operation Baby-Daddy a secret so much harder. Alright, actually impossible when it came to the man beside her.

"Right, I'm no idiot. This morning Steve stiffened when you came into the kitchen, he wouldn't even look at you at first and when he did he turned bright red." It wasn't the first time he had seen Steve blush because of Darcy, but normally the woman had done, said, or wore something that caused it. This time all she had done was walk into the room. He figured that one of two things had happened, they had kissed or had finally slept together.

"I don't see how Steve blushing has anything to do with me." Damn Steve! Darcy fidgeted with the fork in her hand, tapping out Bohemian Rhapsody with it and her fingers against the sink.

"And I guess the look you sent him along with that little hand brush you gave him meant nothing either?" He stopped himself from rolling his eyes as Darcy faltered in her rhythm, only just.

"We're friends Buck, I look at and give you random touches all the time, does that mean something is going on between us?" After a moment Darcy continued to tap out the song, only to completely stop as she felt Bucky press up behind her.

"If only, Doll." Bucky laughed to himself at the hitch in Darcy's breath. He had to admit it was good on his ego to know he still had it with women, even if he didn't have any intention of taking things further with the one in front of him. "Seriously though, what is going on?" Sobering, he reached in front of Darcy and took the fork from her before pulling away and placing it in the washer.

Darcy turned towards her annoying friend and glared. He loved to catch her off guard, hell all of the damn superheroes in the tower loved to do that. She would bet everything that they had some sort of game going on to see who could scare or unnerve her the most.

"Nothing, Bucky, nothing really." Darcy cringed at the severe look Bucky gave her. It was the look he gave Steve when he knew he was lying about being injured, just before he physically dragged him to medical. She sighed and leaned back against the sink, the gig was, as they say, up. "We just got to talking last night about our future, and babies might have come up."

Bucky slumped back against the counter and ran a hand through his already messy hair. This really wasn't what he had been expecting to hear. "Aw hell, please don't tell me Steve is actually broody?"

"What do you think, you've known him longer?" Darcy turned to continue with the cleaning up, hoping if she acted like this wasn't a big deal that Bucky would leave it off. Of course she should have known better.

"So, what about babies made him so nervous?" It wasn't like Steve had never talked about children. From what he could remember from their youth, Steve had always dreamed of having a family one day, to be the father that his own had never been allowed to be. Of course, at that time Steve had planned on being married to the woman that carried his child, not whatever it was that he and Darcy were.

"He made mention that it was too bad that we couldn't just have a kid together, and I may have not only agreed but suggested that we should." Darcy visibly cringed as Bucky shot up straight and grabbed her shoulders in a near death grip. Sure, it was a bit shocking to hear, but she thought that he might be overreacting a little.

"Are you insane?" With wide eyes, Bucky stared down at the woman in his arms. This…this was a bit more than finally resolving a bit of sexual tension. This was…this was…insane, that is what it was. Totally and completely insane.

"What, I don't understand either of you. Steve and I are really great friends, we adore each other. You also have to admit we would be rocking parents." Darcy pulled herself from Bucky's grip, it was testament to just how shocked he was. They had roughhoused around before, and Darcy knew that she couldn't ever get out of his grip unless he wanted her to or was distracted.

"I'm not saying you wouldn't be, but, Doll, this isn't about that. Having a kid can complicate things between a married couple, how much more so for two people not even in a relationship?" Bucky watched Darcy move around the kitchen, clearing off plates before loading them into the washer. Both Darcy and Steve could be rash, but he had always thought Steve at least had a good, solid head above his shoulders. Though maybe he should rethink that thought if Steve was going around making suggestions like this.

"We could make it work." This was why she hadn't wanted to tell anyone about her plan, she knew each and every one of them would try and talk her out of it. For once in her life she didn't want to have to sit down and think things to death, she just wanted to do. Admittedly, having a child with one of your best friends after just one conversation was probably something that should be thought over in great detail.

"Maybe you could, but maybe it would just ruin things. Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but just that you should really think about this. Think it over, talk with Steve, because he really cares for you and it would hurt him to lose your friendship." Bucky had seen the way that Steve looked at her, and he knew exactly what would happen if Steve lost her. Add in a child to the mix and Bucky grew worried.

"I care for him too. I promise I will think it over, but I doubt I will change my mind." She didn't want to change her mind, and it was upsetting that Bucky was being so logical and actually making her think. It wasn't fair.

"Whatever, now enough of all this feeling shit." Bucky could see the little wrinkles forming at the corner of her eyes, the ones that indicated that she was upset. He hated upsetting her, but he didn't like where her mind seemed to have been going. He would leave it off for now, but hell if he wasn't going to talk some sense into Steve for even mentioning such a stupid idea.

"I love you too, Bucky." Darcy gave an uneasy smile and went back to work.

"Yeah, yeah." Bucky shook his head and took the plate offered to him. He was going to rip Steve a new one just for making him have to upset Darcy, let alone the asinine idea he had put into her head.

* * *

><p>Darcy entered her room to find it still a mess, the bags filled with baby items covered her bed and floor. She sat down amongst receiving blankets and newborn clothes, each and every one Captain America themed, and placed her head in her hands.<p>

Maybe she had sort of jumped the gun, but the idea of a child, his child, just felt right. She wanted to believe that Bucky was wrong, that nothing would go wrong and she and Steve would be able to do it and nothing change. Still there was a part of her that whispered all the what-ifs.

What if Bucky was right and because of her stupid plan her friendship with Steve ended? What if she turned out to be a crappy mother? What if after convincing Steve she ended up not even being able to conceive?

She sighed and laid back on the bed, pulling one of the blankets into her arms. Maybe she was crazy for even thinking it, but she couldn't help but admit that she wanted it. Running her fingers over the soft material of the blanket she also had to admit to herself that this wasn't the first time she thought about having Steve's kids. He was her friend, her best friend, but she knew that her feelings for him had changed long ago.

Now all she had to do was figure out if she really wanted children, or if she just wanted to make some sort of connection with him, one deeper than the friendship that he offered.

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Yay, I was actually able to get a new chapter done before Thanksgiving break! Anyway, first off I want to assure everyone this will not turn into a love triangle between Darcy, Steve and Bucky. Darcy and Bucky are close and they do like to flirt, but Bucky is not pining away after her. The reason for Bucky's reaction and view will be explained more later on.<p>

Also, there will be a good deal of angst for a while before we get to the fluff. There was no way around it. We will get to fluff, so don't worry, but first Steve has a few things he needs to work out.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	3. Living With Superheroes Can Be Hazardous

Chapter Three: Degree Three: Living With Superheroes Can Be Hazardous To Your Sanity

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><p>Steve leaned back against the headboard of his bed, eyes staring blankly ahead of him. This was a particularly normal pose for the man, relaxed and yet tense with thought. He would often contemplate his life, about those points in time that lead him to where he was currently. Tonight though, he was thinking about a certain young woman, and babies, of all things.<p>

He hadn't lied to Darcy, he _had_ thought about children a lot, even more so after Pepper announced her pregnancy. Pre-serum he hadn't thought it was in his cards for the simple fact of his health. He had been sick and physically weak and he had often feared that even if he had found a dame who wanted him he would've either been unable to have children or died before he had the chance.

After the serum he had been given hope, should he survive the war he would be able to settle down and have a family. It had never crossed his mind that there would be other obstacles to get in the way, or that the effect of the serum itself could be one of those.

He had thought that he had accepted it; never being able to have children of his own. The women he dated and their reactions to the life he lived made that perfectly clear. He had thought he was fine with it, content to keep the world safe and maybe one day be called Uncle Steve by one of his friends' kids. The baby-shower showed him just how wrong he had been.

Out of all of them Tony was the last one anyone thought of as being a father, everyone thought the man would run the other way at just the mention of children. Instead he had proved them all wrong, doting on Pepper and his unborn child. There was already a fully equipped nursery with a special JARVIS program, a completely stocked playroom, and the man never passed up the chance to show off just how excited he was to become a father. Darcy told him that she believed it all stemmed from the fact he wanted to make up for his own father's mistakes.

Steve closed his eyes. Darcy, the whole reason he was currently shut up in his room after dinner instead of watching movies with the others.

When he had made that quip about having a kid with her he had expected her to scoff at him, make some joke, and leave it at that. Never had he thought she would take him seriously, or that she would actually want his child.

It wasn't like he hadn't thought about it. Well, ok, maybe not the 'kid' part exactly, more the process of making one. She was his best friend, after Bucky of course, but he wasn't blind to the fact that she was beautiful. Still, he had never planned on starting anything with her. He knew that way lay only trouble.

He wished he had taken his scotch to his room the night before, or that he had never made that comment, because then he wouldn't be thinking about it. He didn't want to think about Darcy full with his child. He didn't want to think about a little curly-haired blonde toddler stumbling around his apartment. He didn't want to think about how readily she had agreed, or the light he saw in her eyes as she spoke about having his kid. He didn't want to have to think about anything at all at the moment, sadly that seemed to be all he could do.

* * *

><p>Steve avoided Darcy all the next day, the day after that, and the day after that until almost a week had passed. He knew it was silly, cowardly even, practically running from the room every time she entered it. Still, he couldn't deal with any more baby talk from her. He needed time to think, and needed to give her time to realize just how bad the idea was.<p>

He figured after a few days she would rethink everything and push the whole thing out of her head. She would realize how it could ruin their friendship, how his job was not conducive to being a father. Of course he also forgot just how stubborn the woman was, which was stupid as it was that stubbornness that had lead to their friendship in the first place. Once that woman sunk her teeth into something she refused to let go.

He was reminded of that trait when he entered into the common room a week later to find Darcy curled up on one of the couches, knitting needles held between her fingers as she worked on something suspiciously baby-sized.

"I haven't seen you knit in a while." Ignoring the knot that formed in his stomach, Steve took a seat beside Darcy. Back when they had first started experimenting with the whole friendship thing he would sit for hours just watching her knit. It was comforting really, the faint clacking of the needles as she worked. It reminded him of when he was a child and he would sit at his mother's feet as she mended their clothes.

"Wrangling super-scientists and superheroes really doesn't leave me much time for crafts." Darcy barely looked away from her project as the cushion beside her dipped. It was only in part because she knew he had been avoiding her for the past week… the bastard... but also because what she said was true.

When she had just been Jane's intern she had plenty of time to work on personal projects. At first it was mostly because Jane hadn't trusted her to do more than bring her coffee and drive the van, then it was because imputing data into the computers really wasn't a major job when you typed as fast as Darcy did. Unfortunately taking care of the Avengers left her little time to do anything but take a quick shower and sleep.

"Pity, I kind of like those little caps you make." Reaching over, Steve flicked his fingers over the top of Darcy's head. He held back a laugh as she glowered at him for messing up her hair. This was what he didn't want to lose, the easiness in which they interacted with another, the closeness without worry of saying or doing something to offend. He had made many friends since he had woken up, but none of those friendships did he cherish more than the one he had with Darcy.

"Now I know that is a lie, you spent a good deal of time during the first bit of our friendship teasing me about those." In fact he had liked to play hide and go seek with several of them. If she left them out where he could see them they would end up missing, later only to be found in the strangest of places. Captain America might have been a straight-laced goodie-two-shoes, but Steve Rogers was a God-damned troll, and no one could tell her differently.

"Didn't mean I didn't think they were cute, just that I like riling you up. You're like a spitting kitten when you get mad." Sure, Steve knew when she got really mad it was best to stay out of her path, unless you wanted to be tased in the crotch. But playfully mad Darcy was cute, even Nat found it fun to annoy her.

"Be nice or I'll stab you with these." Finally giving him her full attention… not that she really forgave him or anything… she brandished the needles in her hands. She made little poking motions with one while she swirled the other, all the while mindful of the yarn hanging from it.

"I've been shot at, sliced, diced, and beaten; I doubt knitting needles would do much damage." Admittedly, he knew firsthand how sharp the stupid things were. Darcy had the habit of leaving her supplies in the oddest of places. He made sure to check the couch cushions in her rooms anymore before he sat down.

"Wanna take the chance though?" Darcy made her best 'just try me' face, which really just consisted of a raised brow and a cheeky little smirk.

"Not today. So, what are you working on?" Steve flicked a strand of the black yarn she was currently working with before relaxing back into the couch.

"A onesie for Pepper. I've been searching online for baby merch for everyone else and couldn't find anything, so I'm making them myself. Right now I'm working on Hawkeye." The whole project wasn't totally for Operation: Baby-Daddy. She really did want to make the items for Pepper, and most likely would have went ahead and done them had Steve never brought up the baby issue.

"Complete with bow and arrow?" Besides the caps, he had seen some of Darcy's other work. Some of it was cute, silly things like the matching fingerless gloves she made Bucky for his last birthday. And yet he had a beautiful blanket made to look like his shield she had knitted for him thrown over the couch in his rooms. He was sure had she not ended up in the tower she could have easily made a living out of her work.

"Of course, I'm going to do the entire quiver and make it detachable." She had designed it so that way Pepper could hide several binkies and wipes in the quiver. She had even thought about making a bottle cover that looked like an arrow. The ideas kept coming at her faster than she could work.

"Clint will be ecstatic." Steve smiled. Everyone in the tower was looking forward to Baby Stark, even if they pretended not to be. Baby-Girl Stark would be the most protected and spoiled child in the world.

"You kidding me, he came through earlier with Sam and the two got so excited they ran off down to the labs to get Tony to print off schematics so I could get everything to proportion." Darcy laughed, she had never seen anything make two grown men act like little boys like that had. Clint had practically glowed and Sam she swore had teared up.

"Doing Falcon as well?" He knew how much that would mean to Sam. His friend was confidant in his abilities, but joining a team that had already worked together could be hard. Steve knew that at times you second guessed your place, even if that place was never in question.

"I said I was doing everyone, even Bucky." She might even have a little MIB Coulson suit stuffed away in her rooms. She wanted to include everyone in the team, and even though he now ran Shield, Coulson was still an Avenger to her.

"Oh God, I'm scared to ask just what you are planning there." Steve winced just thinking about it. Darcy could really be ornery sometimes.

"I'm doing a coat and mittens, complete with knitted metal arm." She had quickly nixed the idea of doing a hood with a face mask. It would have been perfect for the winter, but Bucky no longer had need to hide his face and she didn't want to upset him.

"You like to annoy Bucky, don't you?" Steve had been worried when he had introduced the two. His friendship with Darcy had still been pretty new and Bucky hadn't been fully himself yet. Darcy could at times be… well to be kind she could be a bit forward… and he had feared her saying something to set Bucky off. Turned out he hadn't needed to worry, Darcy had done for Bucky what she had done for him and helped things be right.

"Of course, thought you would have figured that out by now." Bucky and her had one of those friendships, that at times if you hadn't known them you would have thought they hated each other. They could fight like cats and dogs one minute and by that evening they would be cuddled up on the couch marathoning _Once Upon A Time_.

"Only too well." Steve rolled his eyes, thinking about all the things the two did to each other. Sometimes it was basic stuff; salt in the sugar container, dirt in the coffee pot. Other times…well they had all sworn never to talk about the Great Prank War, for very good reasons.

"Hey it's Buck and I's thing." Darcy looked proud as she said that, but quickly pouted as Steve gave a little laugh. "What's funny?"

"Nothing, I'm just thinking… if we had known you back before the war Bucky would have fallen head over heels for you." So would've he, but that was not something he needed to tell her. Mostly after what happened the last time he had said something concerning her.

Darcy was a little wilder than the girls he had normally gone out with, but the fact that the wildness contrasted with her maternal need to take care of everyone would have been enough to capture Bucky's attention.

"You mean he hasn't now? I'm disappointed." The little pout turned overdramatic as she flopped further into the couch, slapping a hand over her heart in fake dismay.

"Don't be. I think… well I think he could have, now that is, but…" Steve turned away from the little display next to him, his eyes on anything in the room but her. He wanted to say that the idea of the two of them together made him smile, that if they made each other happy he would be too. Only he hated the fact that the thought of even an imaginary relationship between them made him feel a bit queasy.

"But?" She hated it when he trailed off like that, as though she could continue his train of thought on her own. He did it too often, and each and every time she wanted to strangle him.

"Nothing." Steve turned to flash Darcy a large smile, hoping that she would let it go. Of course he was stupid enough to forget how stubborn she was, even if it was only a second.

"No, no, you can't just tell me something like that and not explain." What was it with people and thinking they could drop bombshells on her like they were nothing? Was it some sort of coping mechanism? Did they think she would just nonchalantly brush the news off like she hadn't just been shocked out of her wits?

"You are too good, Darce. You've been a huge help to him while he worked through everything, but he… when you approached him with the offer of friendship he kind of freaked out. He still worries about corrupting you, hell he still worries about that with me, and it isn't like my body count isn't rising with each mission like his." He hated that his friend thought that way; still saw himself as a monster. Bucky might have been doing well, but he was far from healed. At times Steve worried that he never would be. Sometimes he worried about that with himself.

"So, what you're saying is that Bucky could never fall for me because he doesn't think he is good enough for it, for love?" Darcy hadn't felt like shooting something in a long time, but right at that moment she was seriously thinking about tracking down Nat for a little practice down in the training room.

"Pretty much." Steve leaned a little bit away from Darcy. He knew that look; that was the look she had before you heard the charge of her taser. She had clenched her jaw, her nostrils had flared, and she was clutching the needles so tightly he feared they would break.

"Bullshit, Steve, bullshit. I wish the both of you would realize that I couldn't care less about how big a pile of bodies you have left behind." Darcy tried to take a breath in to calm her down, but this was a variation on a topic she had heard all too often.

"I never said…"

"Neither of you have to say anything, I might not be enhanced like you, but I'm intelligent. You two like to try and keep your distance from those not on the team. Both of you have this inane idea that by being around me I will be corrupted and turned into some jaded killer. Newsflash bucko, with the world I grew up in, I'm already jaded." Darcy tossed the needles and half-finished onesie aside and scooted to sit on the edge of the cushion. She ran her hands through her hair a couple of times, counting to ten under her breath.

"I find that hard to believe." He reached forward and took one of her hands before she could spear it back into her now messed up hair. Sure, Darcy was sarcastic and could be a bit pessimistic at times, but he had never met someone so upbeat and positive before.

"There is no such thing as innocence anymore, Steve." She pulled her hand from his and stood up. She thought about pacing the room, but in the end she just stood over him, one hand in her hair and the other on her hip. She knew he had seen the things that went on in the world nowadays. Sure there were things that were much better from when he was a child, but there were also things that were much, much worse.

Children were being killed, and killing. People were dying because they could not eat, and because they had no clean water. Those that had sworn to protect were slaughtering innocents in the street. And no one could claim ignorance when they did nothing to help. How could he think her anything but jaded?

"Makes you wonder why any of us want to bring a child into the world then." His voice was harsher than he had wanted it to be, practically snapping up at her as she looked down at him with watery eyes.

"Maybe because we hope that it will be different for the next generation, that we each hope that it will be better for them and maybe, just maybe we can have a bit of that innocence rub off on us." Darcy had to hold back the tears as she looked at him. Those were the same words her mother had spoken to her when she had been young and wanted to know why Uncle Kenneth, a Vietnam vet, had taken his own life. She had asked why anyone bothered to live and raise a family when they had seen all of that, and her mother had told her those words.

"Hope." Steve wasn't sure if that had been a statement or a question. All he knew was that he wished he could reach out and pull her into his arms without her punching him in the nose.

"Hope." Darcy took a deep breath and let it out. She knew Steve wasn't stupid, he just always wanted to believe the best of her. He wasn't naïve, and he wasn't innocent, he was just… hopeful. "Look, I've got a few things I should probably be doing for Jane, I'll talk to you later."

Steve watched Darcy leave; her shoulders slumped just a little. He wondered how their conversation had turned so grim so fast. He had hoped to discourage her in her mission of having his child, instead all he succeeded in doing was understanding her reasons in the first place. And maybe a bit more about the woman he called friend.

He scooted closer to where she had been sitting, pulling the little knitted onesie into his lap. He ran his fingers over it, marveling at the talent it took to make something so nice.

"Please tell me you're not actually thinking about agreeing." Bucky leaned against the edge of the doorway that led into the common room. Or more accurately the edge of the glass divider. Stark had a very strange sense of decorating. Everything was a little too angular and breakable for his tastes.

"Buck?" Steve just about jumped in his seat from the shock. A feat as with his enhanced hearing people rarely snuck up on him. Nat didn't count, the woman had actual superpowers no matter what she said.

"I get that you're getting all broody and everything, but do me a favor and just get a puppy." Bucky pushed off the glass, careful not to nick it with his left arm. So much of the glass in the tower was supposed to be reinforced, but they had found out the hard way that one tap from his arm could bring a wall down.

"How did you…" Times like this Steve could really see the change in Bucky. Oh, Buck had always been a little shit, but he hadn't always had the ability to just know things like he did now. It had started before, when he had been one of the Howling Commandos. But after he had fallen and they had taken him, they had refined and honed that particular talent.

"Are you really asking me that question? Like I wouldn't notice when my two best friends start acting like idiots." Bucky shrugged his shoulders before plopping down in one of the overstuffed chairs Darcy blackmailed Stark into getting. "I asked Darcy and she told me."

"It's really none of your business." He didn't need anyone else getting involved in the situation between him and Darcy. Once others knew there would be opinions, and arguments, hurt feelings, and mini wars. It was better that it remind between them and allowed to die a quiet death.

"I don't know, I think it might be when my two best friends are thinking about just randomly having a child together for no other reason than they are huge, fucking idiots." Bucky kicked out one socked foot, hitting Steve directly in the shin. If the idiot actually thought he would stand quietly by and let him screw things up, he had another thing coming.

"That is not why and you know it." Steve grabbed a ball of yarn from Darcy's basket and lobed it at Bucky's head. The jerk caught it with his metal hand and proceeded to toss it back and forth like a baseball.

"Maybe, I still think you're stupid for even thinking about it though." He cut off a large strand of yarn, tossing the ball back into the basket before knotting the ends of the strand together.

"I'm not thinking about it. Do you really think I would put her in that sort of situation? She… I know she wants a kid, but she isn't really thinking." Steve rolled his eyes as he watched Bucky twist and weave the yarn around his hands to create a cat's cradle. He huffed but leaned forward to maneuver the yarn when Bucky motioned for him.

"Neither are you." Bucky moved his left hand a little to keep the metal plates from cutting the yarn. He couldn't remember all that much or all that clearly of when he first got the arm, but he does remember having to learn the hard way that the plates could easily pinch if he wasn't careful.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Steve gave Bucky what he hoped was a really good stink-eye as the yarn was passed to him.

"Steve, you were caressing that fucking onesie!" Bucky made sure to pinch Steve's finger as he went in to twist the yarn into a new shape. He hadn't been sure if he should laugh or cry when he entered into the room to find his friend petting the damned thing like a puppy. It was kind of pathetic really.

"I was just admiring her work." Ok, so maybe he had run his fingers over the stitches a little slower and with more care than most people, but he did admire it and the thing was a present and he didn't want to destroy it.

"Just promise me that you will talk to her about this before it goes too far? I just don't want…" He huffed out a breath and left his words hanging as he looked up at Steve, sure that he would understand him.

"I know, and I promise. It was never really on the table to begin with, I had no idea she would take me seriously." Again, he was stupid for thinking that in the first place. Of course, he had never thought in a million years that she would agree so wholeheartedly.

The two remained silent for a while after that, each taking turns maneuvering the yarn around and passing it back and forth. It wasn't until the yarn caught on one of Bucky's plates and got knotted up that they spoke.

"So, did she tell you what she planned on doing for the Soldier?" Bucky rolled the yarn into a little ball in between his palms, flicking it at Steve once it was a fuzzy mess.

"Coat and mittens complete with knitted metal arm." Steve laughed at the look that crossed Buck's face. He looked so comically horrified he wished he had his phone with him so he could take a picture. It would have went perfectly with the one that Steve snuck when Bucky had been painting Darcy's toe-nails; a favorite of his as Darcy had somehow convinced Bucky to let her French-braid his hair.

"Shit, this kid never had a fucking chance, did it?" He was trying to picture the poor kid, looking like a stuffed doll in one of Darcy's creations and all it did was cause his eyes to grow wider.

"With Tony for a father? Not a chance in hell."

* * *

><p>Darcy flicked on her computer monitor with a little more force than she had planned, the thin screen wobbling precariously before she steadied it. She knew she shouldn't have gotten as angry as she had, she had known from the beginning that it would be an uphill battle trying to convince Steve what a perfect idea it was. The problem was she had begun to understand his side of it.<p>

Typing out her password she didn't even pretend to hold back and simply smashed her fingers along the keys. She didn't want to see things his way, and she didn't want to be second guessing herself. Damn him, damn him, damnhimdamnhimdamnhimdamnhim!

"Hey Kid, careful with the equipment." Tony leaned over to grasp one of Darcy's wrists. He had been wandering around the tower…he was not snooping on Foster, thank you very much Pepper… when he had come across the young woman pounding away at the computer. Literally pounding away, he figured it would result in either a broken finger or broken keyboard, though most likely both with the force that Lewis was putting behind it.

"Shit, Tony, don't sneak up on people!" Darcy pulled her hand from Tony's grip and held it to her chest, the beat of her heart pounding against her ribcage. Though she wasn't sure if it was from Tony being his usual ass self or because of her frustration with the whole Steve/baby thing.

"Yeah, I kind of made enough noise that I'm sure they heard me two floors away. So, what has you pissed off?" He could be sneaky if he wanted, but there was one thing he had learned in his life and that was not to sneak up on pissed off women. To do so normally resulted in bruised balls and a broken nose.

"Really, we are doing this? Feelings, Tony? I didn't think that was your thing." It wasn't that she thought Tony was a robot or anything, or the cold bastard that certain parts of the media still liked to paint him as. Tony was… well Tony was Tony. He was emotionally damaged, self-centered, and had pretty much been taught that for a man to show feelings is a weakness. It took a bit, but he could be coaxed into sharing. It was something that Thor had been working with him on. If there was any man in the tower that embraced all his emotions, it was Thor.

"Well I kind of have to get used to it now that I'm going to be a father, or at least that's what Pepper says." Tony's eyes wandered a moment as the image of Pepper passed through his mind. He had never thought he would be a father, hell he had never wanted to be. His own father hadn't won any Father of the Year awards, and he doubted that the apple fell to far from the tree. Now, though he still worried, he couldn't wait to meet his little girl.

"She's right, children are very emotional creatures." It made Darcy laugh every time she thought about Tony trying to deal with tantrums. The baby was going to be a Stark, so she had little doubt that the kid would throw epic ones. It was that thought that normally stopped the laughing as she realized that she was living in the same tower as many of those tantrums would take place.

"I think I'll be alright, I'm doing pretty good with the whole relationship and friendship thing." And that, Tony figured, was the thing. He hadn't ever been good at any of those things. Shit, he was pretty sure that his friendship of Rhodey only lasted this long because the man was a saint… or just as crazy as he was. Now though he had maintained a relationship with Pepper and several friendships, he figured father might not be too bad after all.

"You'll be a wonderful dad." Darcy reached out and patted Tony's arm. She knew he acted cool and collected a lot, but she had seen him when he wasn't in control; panic attacks and bouts of misery induced drinking. He, like all in the tower needed to be reminded how worthy they were.

"So, since we've established that I'm really just that wonderful, what's the matter?" Tony patted her hand before sliding up onto the corner of her desk. The look she gave him was anything but impressed, but he really didn't care, even though the Lab was Jane's technically everything belonged to him as it was his Tower.

"Could I maybe tell you that it's nothing and have you actually believe it?" Darcy gave an awkward smile up at the man, trying to make herself as cute as possible.

Everyone thought that living in the tower with superheroes would be a cool thing. And don't get her wrong, they did have their uses. She never had to worry about getting things from the top shelf. And of course there was that one time she had run into Jessie, Miss Popular and Queen Bitch when she was in high-school, and she had been able to brag about where she was living and who her friends were when Jessie went on and on about her still having an assistant job. Assistant to the Avengers was nothing to sniff at, Bitch.

The only thing was that there were a lot of downsides too. Such as living with a bunch of very intuitive people that could sniff out problems like fucking bloodhounds. Once one of them got ahold of a whiff of upset they pounced and sunk their teeth in.

"No can do, Kiddo. So, spill, Papa Tony is listening." He reached down grabbed the thick rope of her braid and gave a gentle tug. Of course all he got for his show of affection was a slapped hand. Damn, that had some sting behind it.

"Oh my God, please never say that again!" Darcy shuddered in horror. That was seriously nightmare inducing.

"Whatever, Pepper likes it." Tony smirked down at her and winked… and then winced when she smacked his knee. What was it with her and hitting?

"No she doesn't." Darcy wondered if she could sprain her eyes from rolling them so hard. Tony was fooling himself if he thought he was the one in charge in that relationship. Pepper had ahold of him by a steel band around his balls, and Tony enjoyed every minute of it… and that caused another shiver of disgust. She really didn't need to be thinking of Tony's balls with everything else going on.

"Shut up and talk….. I know, I know, just tell me what the fuck is wrong before I just ask JARVIS." He would too, it wouldn't even be the first time he had done it. Admittedly, the last time he did Nat had found out and he couldn't sit properly for a week. Woman practically ripped his spine from his back.

"I hate you… fine, it is just… have you ever wanted something that everyone told you was a bad idea and yet still made plans to attain it, only before you got it you began realizing why everyone else told you to forget it?" Darcy couldn't look at him as she spoke, instead she kept her eyes down on the keyboard.

"Um, no. Normally I don't care what anyone else says, if I want something I buy it." That had always been his philosophy in life. He had the money, and everything and everyone had a price. Especially in today's world. The only thing in the world he had wanted more than anything that he couldn't buy had been Pepper. He thanked God every day that she wanted him too.

"Yes, well this isn't something I can just throw money at and everything will work out in the end." Even if Steve was willing to sell her his sperm it wasn't something she felt comfortable with. She didn't just want a baby, she wanted his baby and for him to be involved. She wasn't willing to settle for anything less.

"Then it isn't worth having." Tony shrugged his shoulders and attempted to tug on her braid again. This time he moved his hand away in time, sadly what he got was hit in the ass with a stapler instead.

"Tony!" Darcy was really contemplating the benefits of murder the more she talked to Tony. Only thing was she liked Pepper and she was sure the older woman would be mad if she hurt Tony.

"I'm kidding. Look, Kid, don't let other's opinions cloud your judgment. If you want something, really want something, and you can't think of any reasons yourself not to… well take it." If he had listened to the complaints and worries of others he wouldn't be where he was now. Had his father listened to the naysayers SI wouldn't be what it was, and the world wouldn't have their precious Captain America.

"What if what I want involves someone else?" She bit her lip and hoped like hell that Tony wouldn't guess. Ok, so maybe he wouldn't be able to actually guess what was bothering her, but he could guess the who at least.

"Shit Lewis, please tell me we are not talking about you trying to sex up one of the Soldier Boys!" Tony's feet made a loud thud as they hit the floor. He stood over her, his eyes raking up and down as though he could figure out the answer just by looking at her.

"What?! No! What would make you think that?" Darcy's eyes grew huge as she pushed back her chair from the desk. Why the hell did Tony always have to go straight for the dirty conclusions?

"Everyone knows you have a thing with those two, we've all got a poll going actually about which one you'll end up in bed with. I have my money on both, just so you know." He continued to look her over for any sign that he may have won. A set of matching hickies or something. He was pretty sure that both Barnes and Rogers were the territorial marking type. Sadly, either they were very, very naughty and the marks were below the neckline, or they had yet to take the plunge.

"Separately or together?" Ok, so the idea was appealing, but… no, she was not going to allow her brain to go down that path. At least not while Tony was standing right there.

"Together, I figure you're a smart girl." He shrugged his shoulder again, his hands slipping into his pockets. Hey, he wasn't stupid or blind, he was sure those soldiers were super on more than the battlefield.

"But… I… ok, yeah we are not discussing this. And you can tell the others that if I hear about this stupid pool again I _will_ tase them all in the balls." Just to prove her point she grabbed the pen-taser she always kept in her desk and brandished it like a wand. Her very illegal taser, and one of many she had stashed around the tower.

"Pepper and Jane voted for Cap, and Nat is with me." He lifted his brows up as if to say 'what're you going to do about it?' It really shouldn't've surprised her, it was both Pepper and Jane that had started the ongoing poll to see how long each new assistant lasted in Bruce's lab.

"Ok, tase them in the balls and tits. And really, what the hell is with you and Nat?!" Darcy tried to go over every interaction she had had with both men to see where Tony and Nat could've gotten the idea, and… well ok so they were rather close, but it wasn't like they were necking in the common room.

"I just think you have a brain, but according to Nat she's been with Barnes and seen Cap's Full-Monty and thinks you would be stupid not to go for it." And that was a conversation he could have done without. Nat was a beautiful woman, fucking sexy actually, but he really hadn't needed to hear her go on and on about Barnes' technique or what sort of freaky shit he was willing to do in bed. He shuddered to remember it.

"Eh, she's got a point, I've seen them both." Darcy smiled wide. All those blogs dedicated to the Cap and the Soldier, all those women and men trying to figure out just what the two were packing just by their uniform bulge… well they would be really pleased to know just how super both of them were.

"Oh please, oh please tell me I won." Tony clapped his hands together and bounced on the balls of his feet.

"Sorry to disappoint, it was just after a mission. Remember the one where you all came back covered in sticky orange slime? Bucky hadn't even waited until he got to his room to disrobe and I accidentally caught a glimpse of Steve after he left the shower." If Darcy's eyes glazed over as she thought about it, no one would blame her. They had been a sight to behold even covered in neon orange slime.

"How did you accidentally see that when he showered in his room?" A single brow raised in question. Oh, the naughty, naughty girl. He knew there was a reason why he liked her.

"What can I say, I was curious." She shrugged. It wasn't like she was the only one to sneak a peek. She had caught Jane, Pepper and Hill side-eyeing the guys when they had been in various stages of undress. Though she wasn't sure she could really count Jane, as she had a pretty good idea that the woman had just been watching her boyfriend.

"So if it isn't about sex, what is it?" He really hoped it wasn't some feelings thing. Sex he could deal with, money, sure, but he wasn't ready to deal with weepy girls yet. He wasn't sure he would ever be ready, even if Pepper informed him he would have to get used to it.

"Personal. Look, thanks for the little talk, but that is all you are getting." She rolled back to her desk, fingers going straight to the keyboard. Though she at least didn't try to kill the thing as she typed this time.

"I could still ask JARVIS…" Tony rocked back and forth on his heels, hands stuck back in his pockets. It was a threat he had used many times, even if it never worked. But he was sure that it would sometime with someone.

"You would never do that." She continued typing away, hoping that Tony would take the hint. Of course he didn't, or he did but he didn't care. The later was probably the most accurate.

"I would if I thought whatever it was would put everyone here at risk." He failed to mention that he had done it before. One, because he didn't want to get tased, and two, because he didn't want to have to explain that when he had done it he ended up just finding out that she was on her period. Girls were really weird about that sort of thing.

"I promise that no one is in danger and this is between me and someone that shall not be named." Looking up from her typing, she gave him a look that simply said that he should drop it or a world of hurt would be coming his way. "But I hope you know that I would come to you if I thought something would bring anyone to harm."

Tony slipped a hand from his pocket and ruffled her hair. He liked to give the girl crap, but she was one of the most loyal, sweet and caring women on the planet. He was glad that his daughter would be able to know her.

"Good to know. Now, if I remember correctly you had the afternoon off and should be off doing fun things, so go, go, shoo little girl!" He made shooing motions with his hands. Sometimes the girl could be worse than Jane and Bruce combined.

"You really are not funny, Tony." She tried to smooth down her hair after he messed it up, sadly it was a lost cause.

"I really am, now go before I have JARVIS delete all your playlists." He glared down at her. A person's playlist was sacred, but sometimes desperate measures were called for.

"You wouldn't!" She had never gotten her iPod back and had spent the past couple of years rebuilding all of her music. She would kill him if he touched it.

"I so would, now go." He wouldn't back down, in fact if she didn't leave in the next two minutes he would start deleting a playlist a minute until she left. Of course JARVIS would have a backup, but she didn't need to know that.

"Meanie. Fine, I'm off." She pushed her chair back under the desk with as much force as she could. Turning on her heel, she stuck her tongue out at Tony and marched out of the lab.

Once out the door Darcy leaned against the wall, eyes shut as she thought over her conversation with Tony. Well the advice part, she didn't even want to think about the fact that all her friends were betting on who she would sleep with. Fuck, she hoped Steve and Bucky never got wind of that.

She wanted to just say fuck Steve and go for what she wanted, and yet she also wanted to just let it go and not risk her friendship. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Life sucked big balls; big, big, hairy balls!

* * *

><p>Author's Note: Ok, so a bit later than I had planned, but finals killed me. Anyway, that is all done with until next semester, so I have a few weeks to actually spend writing. I hope to have chapter four out by Christmas weekend.<p>

And to those who read my other work. I'm hoping to finish the thundertaser Hat-trick this weekend and then we start Agenttaser. I am also working on several other stories, Irontaser, Wintershock, and even a Darcy/Jarvis just because.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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